I Don't Know Who I am
by Kaori-U
Summary: This tells the story of Gaara from his fight with Naruto up until he becomes Kazekage. Later on it will become Gaara X Lee.
1. New Concepts

Three nins traveled at high speed through the dense forest of the Country of Fire. The area surrounding them suggested nothing of the wreckage they had fled from. It had been a while since they had abandoned their fellow nins in Konoha, and if things had continued as they were, the hidden village had probably been burned to the ground. Plant life was abundant in all directions and tiny flecks of light broke through the canopy of leaves and dotted the faces of the three.

Temari glanced back at her youngest brother, whom she'd been carrying on her back for hours. Gaara had been awkwardly quiet, even for someone as quiet as him. The glance reassured her that he hadn't fallen asleep as she'd feared, but he was staring blankly ahead as if something had preoccupied his thoughts. The wound that Uchiha Sasuke had inflicted upon Gaara's stomach was still bleeding. Sleeping with such a wound was not a good thing, in addition to the fact that Gaara had only just become somewhat normal again and sleeping would bring out the Shukaku once more..

It would be another few hours before they would reach the borders of the Country of Wind. From there they could send up a distress signal and get some assistance from the medical nins of Sunagakure. Gaara's stomach wound would be better off with treatment, but Temari doubted whether or not the medical nins would be able to touch the wound let alone treat it with the proper equipment. As much as her younger brother needed medical attention, his shield of sand was completely involuntary. Though perhaps the medical nins had the expertise to find some sort of alternative treatment. Even if they could not, Gaara could still be fine. After all, nowhere in history had the healing abilities of the Shukaku been tested.

Kankurou had also noticed the quiet behavior in his brother, though he was a lot less careful than Temari with how he made his observations.

"What's with you, Gaara? Are you mad about that Sasuke brat hurting you?" he said rather bluntly. Temari shot a death glare back at her brother, advising him wordlessly to keep his mouth shut. Kankurou had not witnessed the fight between Uzumaki Naruto and Gaara as she had. From all other incidents before, Gaara was rather fragile after the release of the demon. A single word could set him off again, and there would be nothing Temari or Kankurou could do to prevent the demon going on a rampage. Kankurou's expression faltered at the glare and Temari returned her watch ahead of them, knowing that Kankurou had gotten the point. Kankurou had always been like that, testing Gaara's patience multiple times. Kankurou probably desperately wanted to prove himself superior to his younger brother. It was a wonder he wasn't dead yet…

Temari waited for a moment to gauge her youngest brother's reaction, but nothing came. This was usual, seeing as Gaara was never talkative, and he often ignored Kankurou's comments. But then, Gaara's weight shifted slightly, and Temari stopped immediately, ready if necessary to abandon her brother in favor of her own life. It was then that Gaara spoke, quiet and slow, but not due to his injuries.

"I want…," Temari and Kankurou tensed. "I want to know… what true strength is… The strength like that of Uzumaki Naruto…"

"Heh, that brat—," Kankurou began, but Temari held up a finger to quiet him. She turned her face as best as she could to look at Gaara.

"Whatever you need we will help you with…," she started. "But right now, we need to return to Sunagakure," Gaara reshifted and resumed staring blankly ahead.

"Fine," he muttered.

A few hours later, it became obvious that they were about to cross the border into the Country of Wind. The foliage became less dense and the dirt below them slowly shifted into sand. They continued on into the country for another hour to ensure that Konoha nins would not ambush them and take them back across the border.

"Send up a signal," Temari stated, gently setting Gaara down on the soft sand. On the horizon, they could see Sunagakure, only appearing to be a few miles away. However, those experienced with the illusions caused by the flat desert would know that the village was almost a day's travel away. Children of Suna would often wander off and die out in the desert while the village was always within sight. Thus, the signals were invented for the purpose of rescuing these children. It worked out well for their situation as well.

Kankurou opened up what looked like a capsule that opened with a latch at one end. He pinched the end of a fuse within the capsule and put a minimal amount of chakra into it. Immediately it ignited and he pointed the end straight up into the air. With a loud whoosh, a red fireball shot from the capsule and soared hundreds of yards into the sky. Then, the rocket exploded into a massive cloud of red smoke. The ninja in the village could reach them faster than visa versa, and the red color of the signal would alert them to bring medical nins.

"They won't reach us until dawn…," Kankurou muttered. "It's gonna be a cold night."

"We'll just have to make a small camp and deal with the cold. Besides, you won't notice the cold if you sleep," Temari noted. Setting up camp was an overstatement; they had nothing to lay on, nothing to shelter them, and nothing for a fire. The long journey away from Konoha had taken its toll on Temari and Kankurou. Both of them began to drift asleep not long after they settled in.

"Go to sleep… Both of you," Gaara muttered after Temari's head jerked up, waking her up from the sleep she had been drifting into.

"But you're inured and I—," Temari began, but her youngest brother silenced her.

"I'm fine. There's no sense in you staying awake," he said, staring off in the direction of Sunagakure.

Temari looked rather defeated. "O…okay…," she said, lying down on the sand to face the other direction. She then turned her head back to glance at Gaara. "Just make sure you stay awake…"

"Hmph…," Gaara sounded quietly. The very idea of him sleeping was ridiculous. He had gone the first twelve years of his life without sleep; there was no reason for this night to be any different. Within a few minutes, Temari was asleep, her breathing patterns slowed to a silent rhythm. The wound in his stomach throbbed lightly, but this feeling was enough to make him uneasy. "So this is pain…," he said, staring at his own blood on the tips of his fingers.

Sometime around midnight, his siblings began to shiver from cold. It made sense, seeing as the normally blistering hot desert cooled enough to freeze a person to death in the absence of the sun. Gaara, of course, was not cold. The sand surrounding him was enough insulation to keep his body at an acceptable temperature. It would be a few hours before the sun would peak over the horizon and warm them up again. Never had those two been out in the desert night without supplies, making freezing to death all the more possible.

Their shivering became more audible. Though he wasn't entirely sure why he did so, he pushed some of his chakra into the sand a few feet below his siblings. He then forced that sand to the surface and covered them with it. That sand had yet to cool because the heat had been trapped below. It would suffice to keep the two warm until dawn. He then turned his gaze towards the sky and waited.

The two awoke to the sound of approaching footsteps on the sand. Gaara was standing, arms crossed, watching the sand shinobi as they drew nearer. Temari and Kankurou stood quickly, tiny rivers of sand falling off their clothes. Temari noticed silently that there was a large red stain on the sand where Gaara had been sitting.

"Oh! Temari-Sama, Kankurou-Sama, Gaara-Sama, you need assistance?" the lead nin asked as soon as he was within distance to recognize them as the children of the Kazekage.

"Yes. We need a medical nin to look at Gaara. He's been wounded," Temari replied, expression unchanging. The group of nins looked extremely confused.

"Gaara… Gaara has been wounded?" His eyes darted quickly to Gaara, who merely glared in response.

"Yes, it's a stomach wound," Temari clarified. "Can you examine it as we head back to Sunagakure?" The nin gave a curt nod, though he stole one last wary glance at Gaara.

"Oi! Medics, we need a stretcher over here. We need to transport Gaara-Sama to the hospital," the man called to the medical ninja. There was a brief pause, but they hurried to bring the stretcher. Everyone doubted that the stretcher was necessary, but despite this, Gaara removed the gourd from his back, hoisted himself upon the stretcher, and lay down quickly, all without a word. "Get moving," the main nin ordered to the medics. They quickly set off, maintaining the stretcher's stability while they hurried across the sand. "You two should come with us to the hospital. You three just fled from an S-Rank mission. It would be best if you were examined for injuries." The Genin nodded, not truly in agreement, but they were too tired to care where they had to go for the moment. The nin nodded, instructing to the remaining shinobi to follow.

They set off as well, though at a slightly slower pace than that of the medical nins. Kankurou glanced over at Temari, looking slightly concerned. Temari noticed the look he gave her, and she tilted her head slightly in question.

"When you woke up," he began slowly. "Were you covered in sand too?"

"Yes… I'm sure of it…," Temari replied.

"You don't think that Gaa—"

"I don't know what to think."


	2. Byouin

Yo1 This is my first Naruto fanfic, so I'm sorry if I mess up in trying to keep everyone in character. If you are reading this only for the GaaraXLee, I can't guarantee it will come quickly or at all for that matter. It is difficult to keep everyone in character and then to put them into a relationship.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and if I did, I'd own the world…

------

The first few hours at the Suna hospital went by very slowly. The three children of the Kazekage, of course, got to bypass waiting in the emergency room to receive immediate care. It was just one of the perks of being in the same family as the Kazekage. Temari and Kankurou were released with a clean bill of health, other than they were both exhausted. They sat patiently in a small, bland room, waiting to find out what Gaara's condition was. Temari kneaded her hands in her lap restlessly while Kankurou pretended to be busy with adjusting Karasu's joints. Both of their heads snapped towards the direction of the door as they heard footsteps approach. It was a young nurse who looked rather unsettled.

"How is he?" Kankurou asked, putting Karasu aside. The nurse bit her lower lip.

"We're really not sure," she began. "Gaara-Sama seems to be okay, but we haven't been able to find a way to treat his wound. The sand won't let us near it," With a slight shrug of her shoulders she added, "All we can do is wait and hope he doesn't develop an infection," With that she turned around and began to walk away.

"Can we go see him?" Temari asked, stopping the nurse before she left.

"Oh, of course," she said. "But don't be too long; I believe it would be best for him to get some sleep." Temari and Kankurou looked at each other briefly, wondering if the nurse was stupid, naïve, or a mix of the two. They followed the nurse as she began to lead them down the halls of the hospital. Temari quickened her pace to walk alongside the nurse.

"Gaara won't let himself sleep," she stated seriously. "And you better not try anything to force him asleep either. He has good reason to stay awake," The nurse looked bewildered.

"But it's unhealthy to—, " she began, but Temari stopped her.

"Trust me. In the long run, it is healthier for him and for the rest of us if he doesn't sleep," Temari said matter-of-factly. The nurse didn't look entirely convinced, but she stayed quiet. She gestured toward a closed door, stopping where she was, allowing the two to continue on without her.

"Is he in here?" Kankurou questioned, staring at the woman with a bored expression. The nurse nodded and then continued down the hall to attend to her other duties. "What a clueless woman…," Kankurou muttered, turning the door handle. Gaara watched them as they entered, an extremely annoyed expression on his face. The two continued into the room, taking a seat in the plush chairs next to the bed.

"Are you feeling alright, Gaara?" Temari asked, Gaara's expression deepening into a scowl. He merely scoffed in response, turning his gaze towards the window. The winds outside had picked up and tiny grains of sand had been swept up, tapping repetitively against the glass. _"I wish he would be more direct sometimes…,"_ Temari thought. Though it wasn't very strong, she _did_ care for her youngest brother. _"At least he doesn't seem to be bleeding any more,"_ she noted, seeing that the bedding had no traces of red.

"They're probably going to keep you here overnight," Kankurou began. "If you want us to we can sta—, "

"Go," Gaara muttered. "I'd rather be alone."

"But Gaara, we're worried about you!" Temari blurted.

"I said go. If you don't, I won't hesitate to kill you both."

Temari's expression looked hurt, though it was clear that she was afraid. Quickly she raised her hands in front of her in a defensive gesture. She knew not to deny her youngest brother's wishes.

"A…Alright…," she said standing up, followed silently by Kankurou. They hurried out the door, careful not to glance back at Gaara for fear of irritating him. Without a moment's hesitation, they closed the door behind them, leaving the redhead alone.

"That was fun," Kankurou growled, his hands shoved into his pockets as they headed through the halls of the hospital. "I'd thought that maybe he'd covered us with sand last night to keep us warm, but I'm almost starting to think that he was trying to kill us,"

"Don't talk like that in public," Temari snapped. "Someone might hear you and tell our father about it. Then he'd send another assassin and Gaara would be even more unstable than before. He's probably just irritated because he was wounded,"

"Ch, whatever you say. Personally, I'm glad he's not coming home with us tonight," Kankurou muttered.

-------

For hours, Gaara stared out the window, gazing at the village. The sun was sinking low on the horizon. The villagers would be heading inside to spend time with their families. Temari and Kankurou were probably at home with Father, most likely being scolded for their failure in the Konoha mission. He could tell that many of the nin involved with the mission had returned. Every few minutes or so he would hear a stretcher rush by in the hall, hearing one or two words like "Konoha", "ninja", and "Sound Village".

It sounded like the joined forces of the Sound and Sand Villages were fighting a losing battle. Most likely, they had underestimated the power of the peaceful village. It didn't matter to him, he couldn't have cared less for the stupid mission or Sunagakure for that matter.

A rather large rush of pain came to him from his wound. Though the bleeding had stopped, a very bad infection had developed on the wound. The Shukaku was currently working to counteract the infection. He could tell because his own chakra was being used in short bursts on the wound, accompanied by the sharp pains. The infection wasn't a threat to him, but the pain was much worse than he'd ever imagined that it would be.

That annoying nurse continued to enter his room every half hour, despite that he had told her already that there was nothing anyone could do if something should suddenly go wrong with him. It was then that he heard her approaching again, the click of her high heels on the linoleum floors of the hall. As he'd expected, she came into the room, bustling into the room as if it was entirely her business. Taking one look at the sky outside, she gasped.

"Oh my, it certainly is getting dark out there. I believe it's time that you got some sleep," she said cheerfully. Gaara glared at her. "I'll be right back with some medicine to help you sleep, Gaara-Sama," She then turned and left out the door, high heels still clicking away.

_"I've got to get out of here..,"_ Gaara thought angrily to himself. If he stayed, he'd either be forced to sleep, not an option, or forced to kill the damn woman. In his current condition, he didn't feel up to getting into that kind of trouble. He stood out of the bed and slid the window open. He was met with cold night air, sand whipping into and around the hospital room. Quietly, he slipped though the window opening and hurried off into the darkness.

The nurse returned, holding a small cup of water and a couple of sleeping pills. Both of which were dropped as soon as she realized that Gaara wasn't there. Seeing the open window, she quickly turned and ran out of the room to get help. Anyone she told would laugh at her. It was rare for a person in Sunagakure to not know that Gaara didn't sleep and that he would do as he pleased. So his disappearance from the hospital room was quickly dismissed from anyone's concerns.

Slowly, Gaara headed to his home. He had nowhere else to go and his injury was still causing pain. It was becoming less severe, but it hurt nonetheless. He would probably be lectured for his failure in the Konoha mission, just as Temari and Kankurou surely had been. If that happened, he may just get angry enough to kill his father.

When he entered the home of the Kazekage, his home as well, Temari and Kankurou were waiting in the entryway, their expressions falling when they realized that it was Gaara. Gaara simply pushed past them and headed to the room that was farthest from his siblings, and leaned against the wall. Much to his annoyance, he found that the two had followed him there.

"Father hasn't returned home yet, Gaara," Temari stated. "He should have been the first back because he would have had ANBU escorts back here once the attack had started,"

Gaara merely turned his head and glared at the wall. "So?" he stated, his tone showed no concern for his missing father. Kankurou, clearly aggravated, came up to him and grabbed him by the shirt as if to lift Gaara had he not been so heavy with the sand.

"Don't you care at all!" he yelled. "This is family. Our father is missing and you don't care!"

"No, I don't care. Family is worthless. Father is worthless. You are worthless. Your very existence is unimportant to me. Nothing matters as long as I survive," Gaara said, anger beginning to hint in his voice. Kankurou remained irritated.

"Bastard! You really are nothing but a monst—," Kankurou started, but Gaara interrupted him.

"I'll kill you," was all he said. The cork fell loosely out of his gourd and sand poured out slowly. Both Kankurou and Temari's faces showed nothing but fear. Kankurou loosened his fingers on Gaara's clothes and let go in order to back away. He bumped into Temari, who was still standing in the same place. "Sabaku Kyuu," Gaara said, unleashing the attack upon his siblings. Temari quickly took the fan off of her back and opened it, forcing back the sand with a few massive gusts of wind. She then grabbed Kankurou by the arm and pulled him out of the room, the two of them running as fast as they could out of the house.

After they had left, Gaara pulled back his sand and replaced it into the gourd. He would have to kill them later. He was in no condition to chase them or expend chakra to locate them with sand alone. He resumed his position leaning against the wall, and glared at the floor.

"Stupid," he muttered.

------

Well, that's it for this chapter. I won't be updating very quickly because I'm writing this whole fic during class and I have no free time. I love constructive criticism, so make sure to review!


End file.
